Comparison...

We all compare ourselves, other people, and other things everyday...we might not even think about it most of the time, but we do. Seriously take a second to think....what things did you compare today? When it becomes a problem is when it starts controlling any part of your life, your thoughts and causes you to act in any way that might hurt you or someone else. 90% of the time when we are making comparisons it's comparing ourselves with someone else....which most of the time causes us to look down on ourselves almost as if we get mad at ourselves for not being like or better than that other person. Why should we look down on ourselves? Does God look down on us in a bad way? I am having to constantly remind myself of this because I'm comparing myself 24/7....and even constantly reminding myself is not enough. It's hard for me to accept any kind of compliments from anyone because I'm like, oh they're just trying to be nice and make me feel good about myself, so they compliment me and I'm like thanks and in my head I'm thinking thanks but I beg to differ. Sometimes its just so hard to control your thoughts...I mean really how does a person even begin to change something that has sunk in for 10years...it takes time....and it's hard to know where to begin, which is why I keep falling, getting back up, and falling all over again...then I think okay this time I won't fall....and BAM!...find myself on the floor again (not literally). Hmm....where to begin? constantly reminding myself is doing nothing for me obviously, and that and pray is what I've been told to do...sometimes I feel like that just isn't enough but what more could I do? Anything is possible right?...it just feels like the opposite for the situation. GOD, CATCH MY HEART IN THE FLAME OF YOUR FIRE THAT NEVER DIES OUT!!!!!