Sunday, November 30, 2008

The Big Steel Gates Part 1: A Forever Kind of Friend

When I truly began this journey I've been on becoming a Christian, it was so hard because I don't let very many people in the big steel gates I've built around who I really am and where I truly come from. But I choose NOW that this season...here is what will make my Christmas....giving a little piece of my heart, a little bit of my attention, and a little bit of myself to anyone who is hurting for any reason at all. What made me choose to start NOW? I was sitting here at my laptop talking to my sister, and as I was listening to music one of my favorite songs came on..the one playing right now called Right Here...the lyrics to this song speak to me so much, so personally....so as this song came on I started listening to the words and then my phone vibrated, and I got a twitter and someone I am really close to said that they were so sad that their sister was moving away. Without hesitation I texted this person just to let them know that no matter what I will be there if they ever needed me (and I do mean that with every bit of passion inside of me, not even words describe)..letting you in on a little bit of what is behind the steel gates, when I truly began my journey I felt like everyone around me was leaving me, my dad died, my uncle whom I've been close to forever was thinking of moving away, then we got in a fight and he was angry at me, my grandma's cancer had come back, my mom works two jobs and I never see her, and even the relationship with some of my friends were beginning to spiral...needless to say it felt like everyone around me was leaving me, and when a person close to you moves far away, it can start to feel that same way....then I got to thinking about how much I look up to this person hoping that someday I will have as much faith and passion as they do, and be as caring and giving....and I realized that they have given so much to me, and since they gave to me, I should make a PROMISE to give it back whenever they needed it...and now is a great opportunity...
For this person: In return I promise to give a never ending unconditional loving friendship and you have captured a piece of my heart because you inspire me so much. So with as much passion as I can possibly express I'm here, right here...not because I have to be, but because I WANT to be!...and maybe someday I can inspire someone, and someone can look at my flaws and think that that is what makes me perfectly beautiful, and maybe just maybe one day someone will look up to me....imagine if.
-Beautiful Disaster