Sacrafice...

When we become followers of Christ, it's so hard when you start to learn sacrafice. The Mix 08' is gonna be amazing, I feel it!...and in order to go I sacraficed my phone, and for me that's a huge deal...it's eating away at me right now...tomorrow unless some magical money fairy comes and blesses me with $35 I will not have a phone until tuesday, when I get paid....it's eating away at me when I get texts and can't respond...AHHH! It's also very frustraiting that my paycheck will be gone next week basically, all because of nessessities....why do we need to pay freaking 100 for some stupid sticker to go on ur license plate...I mean really, Isn't the fact that we paid for some stupid letters and numbers to be bent into metal enough?...no of course not you have to have a stupid STICKER to go ON the plates!! Nothing is ever enough and I'm sick of it! Not enough money, or love or If you're body doesn't have enough food, you die...there are freaking kids in Africa STARVING, DIEING and this is EATING AWAY at me because I feel as if I have nothing to give them but my thoughts and prayers because I myself am just barely making it...and I can only HOPE that next week I have enough to pay all of my expenses...otherwise it's again no phone!...and then I'm pretty much screwed if anything happens, or anyone needs to get ahold of me for something important....on the plus side I will still be able to recieve texts...I just won't be able to send them or call anyone!....is there a help button hiding somewhere? If you find it remember to tell me where it is so that I can go push it! Needless to say YES YES I would really love to hide away in my room for an entire week, month, or so and never come out...but that doesn't solve anything and I'm pretty sure I'd get 15 million calls saying Why haven't you been at church for the past four weeks?...Oh because I'm a selfish pig (I'm not I swear)!...What a lame excuse is that, Christianna?! <--(me talking to myself) or maybe 1 person who cared enough would come pounding at my room window actually probably not, lol, but you get the point! I actually have thought of stopping going to church for a few weeks....but then I was like I don't think I could do it, I really don't...I'd miss the amazing presence of God, and seeing change and I'd miss Amanda, Javen, Justin, The Blest girls, ect...I would miss everyone too much...I would miss everything about that church too much to even miss one Sunday, or one Wednesday. The sunday I sang at my mom's church all I could think about was how I was probably missing out on a sermon that I really needed to hear, and missing all of my church family! Okay, yeah I'm done now...needless to say Frustraition to the max right now...I hope 2009 holds more hope than 2008 because I feel as if I didn't start to learn or grow until I started hanging out talking and yes....well I am done...I'm sure I could write an entire book right now...but I'll save you your sanity and stop here because apparently I have lost mine...if you find it make sure you send it back my way, thanks your a pal! :0) Much luv <3
-Just Christianna
p.s. yeah lame I know...but aren't I supposed to be posting my feelings on here anyways??