Beautiful, Unexplainable and God-Sent

A picture can tell a thousand words. Often as I'm glancing through my facebook I see this picture, and each time I see it the same exact thing happens: It catches my eye, I click on it, and stare at it as a thousand thoughts flood my mind about friendship and I start tearing up. It isn't very often we catch these little candid moments on camera, and when we do.. they are just so amazingly beautiful that you can't help but tear up at the sight of it's beauty and the meaning of what it brings to mind.
Friendship. Friends are a creation that I am more than often unbelievably thankful for. Friendship means being there when things are tough, and at the same time being honest when things aren't right. Friendship is late night heart to hearts and laughter so hard that you swear you are gaining abs because you just can't stop laughing so hard. Friendship is happiness and JOY! "...so one friend sharpens another".. and that's how it should be. Friendship is the willingness to put your life on the line for your friend in danger. Friendship is BEAUTIFUL! This picture tells me a thousand words. This picture is a PERFECT captured moment that shows so much beauty. The beauty of amazing, unexplainable, intimate, BEAUTIFUL friendship. "I am lost for more to say".. beautiful.

What is friendship to you? What is your favorite captured, candid moment??

Miracle Babies: Story #2

Rumaisa Rahman was born at 25 weeks at 8inches long and weighing only 8.6 OUNCES... yes.. you got it.. OUNCES!.. that's about the size of a cellphone! Rumaisa's twin sister Hisa was born weighing 1lb. Her mother developed a terrible case of pre-eclampsia that forced her to have a c-section and have her twin girls early! Luckily she was born at 25 weeks because had she been born 2 weeks earlier she wouldn't have had a chance at surviving due to the fact that babies at 23 weeks or earlier don't have fully developed lungs! Mother and both babies survived by the grace of God! Here are some pictures of this tiny miracle baby..

This is her with a ball point pen next to her to get a picture of how tiny she was:

Her tiny feet that weren't even as big as ONE of our fingers:

This was her after a few weeks, (still SO tiny!!):

Miracle Babies: Story #1

So I am starting a new blog series and as you see it's called "Miracle Babies" and to each series there will be pictures at the end. Children are a gift from God, each born with their own purpose specially made by our unexplainable amazing creator! This first story just blew me away and touched my heart when I read it!..

21-week-old unborn baby named Samuel Alexander Armas, who was being operated on by a surgeon named Joseph Bruner. The baby was diagnosed with spina bifida and would not survive if removed from his mother's womb. Little Samuel's mother, Julie Armas, is an obstetrics nurse i

n Atlanta. She knew of Dr. Bruner's remarkable surgical procedure. Practicing at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, he performs these special operations while the baby is still in the womb.During the procedure, the doctor removes the uterus via C-section and makes a small incision to operate on the baby. As Dr. Bruner completed the surgery on Samuel, the little guy reached his tiny, but fully developed hand through the incision and firmly grasped the surgeon's finger. Dr. Bruner was reported as saying that when his finger was grasped, it was the most emotional moment of his life, and that for an instant during the procedure he was just frozen, totally immobile. The photograph captures this amazing event with perfect clarity. The editors titled the picture, "Hand of Hope."

The text explaining the picture begins, "The tiny hand of 21-week-old fetus Samuel Alexander Armas emerges from the mother's uterus to grasp the finger of Dr. Joseph Bruner as if thanking the doctor for the gift of life." Little Samuel's mother said they "wept for days" when they saw the picture. She said, "The photo reminds us pregnancy isn't about disability or an illness, it's about a little person." Samuel was born in perfect health, the operation 100 percent successful.

The Expecting..

I was at my 2nd house today and there was a book on the table about childbirth and how this woman had 3 kids without ANY pain at all! Well, Amanda IS pregnant, so I have looked at the cover of that book everytime I'm over there and see it out, just wondering what it says inside, so today I decided to pick it up and start reading it and I couldn't put it down (for me this is RARE because I strongly dislike reading)! There is something about childbearing that draws me in, something about it the facinates me and catches all of my attention! I will walk by an expecting mother at the store, or see one while I'm working the drive thru window and my mind just starts racing and so many questions fill my mind.. I wish I could feel her belly..Is the baby moving? I wonder how it feels to know that there is a little life in there? I wonder how it feels to feel that baby kick for the first time, feel it move, hear it's heartbeat, or see it on an ultra sound? I wonder what kind of things she is experiencing? Is she excited or scared? Is she happy or was she unexpecting to be expecting?.. there are so many things that I often sit there and wonder about for hours at a time. It so surreal to think that one day I will be the woman who is expecting. I have NO doubt AT ALL on my mind that one day I will be the one who is the expecting mother and all of the things I wonder about will be put to rest. I can't WAIT to experience childbearing! Often I worry a little that I won't be able to bear a child, but I BELIEVE that I will because I feel that right now I am practicing and developing my parenting skills. God has his hand on my life, and he knows that being a wife and being a mother is one of the biggest things on my heart (I'm talking top 2). I dunno how you feel about it, but this is how I feel. It is SO beautiful looking at an expecting mother, to me she GLOWS radiantly and thinking that she is holding a little life in her belly, a HUMAN LIFE, another soul that God has the chance to pour his presence on and another soul that could change the world.. is simply indescribable! What an amazing God we have!

My "Family"

I can't help but burst with joy and SO much love when just even one thought of them comes in my mind and I wonder what they are up to or if they feel the same way or not or maybe I'm just crazy.... but never have I felt so much love for a family before. I could only WISH that I was related but also have experienced what it the word "family" really means without even being so..but just feeling like I am. Feeling like I belong and am accepted somewhere, no strings attatched. I don't go a day without thinking about them. "Have you ever wished for an endless night? Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight?"...yes much too often when I am just hanging out with them, whether its laughing at Justin being mean to people on reality tv shows, Amanda and I staying up and having bonding time watching tv and talking after Justin goes to bed, or Javen just walking up to me out of the blue, planting a kiss on my cheek and saying he loves me.. No words are even strong enough, powerful enough, loving enough, thankful enough to describe how I feel. Look at that picture. How could anyone NOT love them! I can't wait until there is 4! I have learned so much and I have so much still to learn.

Wishing, Dreaming, Hoping..

My ultimate dream (besides becoming an awesome wife and mommy) is to help lead worship in front of hundreds and someday millions of followers of Christ and helping lead unbelievers to the love of Jesus using the gift God gave me! Yesterday I was worshipping and for a few minutes I opened my eyes and looked at our worship team and thought "look at how beautiful they all are!"..I think that a person is the most beautiful when they are worshipping God..and last night I saw the face of God when I looked at each of them and it was unbelievably beautiful and I could tell that God was the center of where they were..up there helping lead people to Christ! Since everything changed with the band and have gone from New Wine to Surrender, I've given up on the gift/gifts I was given because I felt discouraged, not equal, and not good enough..but I know that it's where I truely belong because it's where my heart has always been..and I feel as though I left part of it right there on that stage! Dear Jesus, I wishing, dreaming, and hoping to be where I feel God has intended me to be! I've ran from a million things that have never come back to me..but this...keeps crawling its way back into my heart!
-Hopeful Dreamer

A Love-Driven Heart

I owe my life to the God above who has me under his wings. I am love-driven. Wherever I am love follows and leaves a trail. I always love with everything in me and never say I love you without meaning it whole-heartedly with everything in me! I believe that the words "I love you" are the strongest most intimate words you can say to a person. I communicate through love and encouragement and nothing means more to me than a meaningful unexpected 'i love you' and a huge or kiss on the cheek or forehead and nothing hurts me more than feeling unloved and unloving words and actions against me. I fear a lot of things but what I fear most is losing the people I'm closest to because I lost 2 of the best friends I could have, my Daddy and my Granny, so I try to let the people I'm closest to always know how much I care and love them because we often take life for granted and forget that we never know what could happen because in the end God has all the power. My heart is often overwhelmed with so much love for my friends and family even though sometimes I feel that they don't feel the same way about me. I concider my closest friends my family and without them I'm nothing because the teach me what it means to truely love. I am undeserving of such wonderful people in my life but I am glad God thought that I deserved them!!..so since they were a gift to me I give back willingly in return and enjoy every bit of it. I enjoy every bit of having a giving heart. I give out of love and find joy in it. I am love-driven by my passions/dreams, the people I care most about, I am love-driven by God and the purpose he has for me.
-Christianna Denise

p.s. Any comments? Any thing ya wanna say? I'm listening..so speak..please.

King Of Pop

So, it's barely believable that Michael Jackson is dead. It's crazy.. seems like just yesterday I was watching him and Britney on tv performing The Way You Make Me Feel the same exact year that I was using that song for my dane competition song and won 1st place! So in honor of the King Of Pop..I wrote this letter to say goodbye to a man who did more than just live up to the name he gained.. King of Pop.

Mr. King Of Pop-

Its such a Thriller that you're really gone! I can barely believe it. BUT this is the perfect time to let you know The Way You Make Me Feel. Your music and talent has inspired many, including myself who competed and placed 1st in dance competitions 3yrs in a row to your songs. You sure taught many people the ABC's of the dance floor and made millions of people just wanna get outta their seats and shake their booty! Most of all you taught us that We Are The World and although people had their doubts and rumors about you, only you knew what was really true and I hope you looked at the Man In The Mirror every day and liked the man you saw. I hope you knew how Dangerous it is to not know that we have a forgiving God. We all know that Billy Jean was not your lover... but I hope Jesus was, and to sum it all up I'd like you to know that You Rock My World..you rocked millions of peoples worlds! RIP Mr. Michael Jackson!

-Christianna Denise

Expanding Love

This woman is pretty much one of the most talented, inspiring, trustful, sweetest, caring, loving women I've ever met! She is pretty amazing. The first time I ever went to Rock Church she is the first smiling face who greeted me and she happened to be pregnant with Javen and "ready to pop at any time", I was told. I didn't truly MEET her until about a year and some odd months ago through my close friend Nicole, whom happened to be in her small group. Upon meeting her I had no clue that my prayers for an understanding, close-parent like- relationship would be answered or that my mind, my heart, my life.. would be changed in the process. It took me a while to actually go up to her and say hello..I was so shy and scared of her.. but finally I'm sure she was like okay enough avoiding me.. so she came up first instead of me.. and said "Boo!" because I had told her I was too afraid to come up and say hello. It's pretty hilarious now to think I was scared of her because now I'm either around her somewhere, helping out with Javen (which I happen to be doing at this moment, but he's napping), or at least thinking about her and or Javen or Justin. Now again things just keep getting better and life is about to change to a whole new level. Saturday night I was sworn to secrecy to not tell anyone until after Justin's birthday that she is pregnant again! Baby number 2 will be here some time in February! I cannot begin to say how excited I am that I will have a chance to let my heart expand, and grow to love and care for another little one as much as I love and care for Javen or how excited I am that I get to watch her tummy grow and hear about all the stuff that comes with pregnancy (afterall in about 5 years I have a feeling that I will be having my own so I better get the knowledge and practice in now!)! I cannot even BEGIN to say enough, do enough, or be thankful enough towards her and her little family for just taking me under their wing and loving me because it means more than I could ever express. Even just love has changed my mind about how much I am thankful each day to wake up, my heart about what I want and love most in life, and my life because I feel like they were a gift from God to me and since meeting and getting to know her my life has taken twists, turns, and winds all over to get me to where I am at right now...a beautiful butterfly just waiting for the right time to break out of it's cocoon, just waiting for a chance to break out and have a chance at fluttering into the sky. It's amazing how just love can change a life. Thankfully..I choose love, Humbly..I choose love, and Wisely..I choose love!

-Beautiful Disaster

The Breath Before The Kiss

"Have you ever wished for an endless night? Lassoed the moon and pulled that rope tight? Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself will it ever get better than tonight? Have you ever felt this way?"-Glitter In The Air by Pink

This song reminds me so much of close friends. I only really have a few close friends who really know me and this song brings tears to my eyes because some parts of it really speaks to my heart. Often I am so thankful and my heart is filled with so much love for them that I barely know what to do with myself. There isn't a day where I don't sit for a second and think of how blessed I am to have the few close friends I have and sometimes even end up balling my eyes out because it means so much to me. I could never repay them for meaning so much to me... never. Sometimes I can be in a room filled with a ton of people and still feel so alone because the only place I wanna be is spending time with them. Yes..I have wished for an endless night and I've held my breath a million times asking myself "Could it ever get better than this moment?"..I did that just today as I was spending some quality time with one of my closest of close friends. Is it possible to love these people so much? Could love get any more unexplainable? "Have you ever felt this way?" I feel so undeserving of such wonderful people.

-Beautiful Disaster