Trusting God

I am beginning to feel how hard this road actually is as opposed to taking to easy way out...I always choose to do things the hard way...I don't know why but for some reason I almost always do. When I say this road I'm talking about choosing to put Jesus Christ in the number one spot and being a Christian. No one said it was easy...if it was why would we even be here? Would there be a point to there being a God? No because if it was easy everything would be perfect! Let me tell u its far from that. Lately I have been experiencing so much change and its scarey and it feels as if God is tugging on me and completely flipping around my life. I love it and hate it at the same time. But I was reading the bible the other day and read about someone who trusted in God fully and didn't even think about whatever they were worrying about anymore because they completely trusted God had already answered their questions. That is SO hard to do!! SO HARD! Being naturally a big worryer its hard to ask God for something then let it go and not worry at all. I want to have more faith in God but fear overcomes me so much and I fall back. Many people don't know that though simply because I don't talk to that many people because I'm so shy to talk to people that I am scared of them! I literally avoid people to avoid talking to them...for example for the longest time I avoided Amanda, I would see her coming the way I was and I'd run and hide or go the opposite direction because I was SO afraid to even say hello to her. Now we are close but man it was hard to talk at first because I was so shy and sometimes I still catch myself being shy towards her and I'm like hello she's pretty much family! I dunno. I've pretty much said all I wanted to say. Trusting God is a huge issue...especially with so much change happening right now. Hopefully its all for the better!
-Beautiful Disaster