God and Sea Hearts

That...is something called a sea heart. They are found on exotic islands. The sea forms these stones and they wash up on shore. I think this is so cool and interesting because God is love...and we symbolize love most of the time with hearts. It reminds me that...God created this entire earth with his own hands...every little speck, every little atom. every little stone...he made specially with every bit of love he has...which is everything he is. what he stands for. Love.

-Beautiful Disaster

Love

Love. Simple word to say...hard to explain and hard to do the right way. Did you know St.Valentine (the guy who this day is named after) was killed because of his love for God? Today is Valentine's Day...and unlike most single people I wasn't depressed but angry...I woke up in an okay mood...but got to work and my co-workers made sure to make it easy for my mood to be ruined..but I love them anyways. Some of them probably don't deserve for me to show them love still but I just grin and bear it..I never show or say that I'm mad at them but in my mind I'm screaming!!...it takes so much to love people right where they're at. Love is hard...but easy...complex and simple...heartwarming...but sometimes heart-breaking. But true love...is Jesus...God is love! (agape' love). One day I won't be by myself on Valentine's Day...I will be with a smokin' hottie on a date and dot dot dot (thats from Mama Mia and you'll have to watch it to know what it means) and he will be so in love with God that THAT is what attracts me the most! Happy Valentine's Day!

Naive

Naive. To be naive means lacking experience in something, innocent, and most people use it to describe young people normally teens...but because of society today very few teens are naive and u can't keep too many things from ur kids cuz they find out anyways. A lot of people label me as "naive"...they think I don't know alot..and it bothers me. I know a lot more than they think...I don't lack any experience whatsoever in life! I just choose to not talk about what I know and my experience in certain areas...but me...I may seem naive and innocent but the truth is I'm not either of those. I actually probably missed half of my childhood..but I am strong because of it...and life goes on...I'm so lucky to even be alive since I nearly died as a baby and then completely died at age 8..but I guess my point is labels SUCK..especially when they are completely wrong!
-Beautiful Disaster

Testing Faith

Okay the past few days have been anything but good...car issues, which need to be solved soon but aren't guarunteed to be...and the new developements in these issues today...phone issues (good luck getting ahold of me unless I'm on facebook at Panera or at church), and losing my voice (my job happens to offer the best health insurance..psht!)....perfect. Either my faith is majorly being tested, or my patience is just wearing thin and missing...well speaking of missing something..I'm STILL missing my bible...hmm maybe that could be the issue?...ha yeah right, I'm kidding myself...but I NEED it at this point...yes NEED!! I honestly don't know how I'm gonna solve any of these issues....they all have to do with that stupid paper green stuff...which I have none of....but whatever...God chose..the perfect timing for all of this..so maybe he will choose the perfect timing to bring me a freaking solution!...Porkies...just ain't cutting it....AT ALL! Oh the joys of being an adult...God is growing me....I'd rather grow back down now. Pretty much at the point where I'm BEGGING Jesus to come back NOW..even though I'm honestly not sure whether I'd go to heaven or hell...
-No longer beautiful...but a Disaster for sure

Searching

This morning I was listening to a song called Catch Me When I Fall by Ashlee Simpson and its SO SAD...the life of Hollywood celebrities is SO sad! In the song she is searching for something someone to help her, be there for her and talking about how she feels like there's no one for her to go to...that no one truly cares even though there's always people around her, all they care about is her career. That she's completely lonely and she says "Who will be the one to save me from myself, who will be the one who's there, I'm not ashamed to see me crawl, who's gonna catch me when I fall.."...she said it might seem like she has everything but everything means nothing because the life she lives leaves her feeling lost. We all dream about being celebrities, or have at one point...and I myself would be lieing if I said I didn't concidering performing is a way of life for me. But I realize how truely lucky I am to have a God who is there all the time, and that I know HE has placed certain people in my life for a reason. Nicole and I were chatting last night and we both have the same feelings about different people. I am SO lucky to have people who care about me and SO thankful to have Amanda, Justin and Javen in my life....it NEVER fails to make me give glory and praise to God because that song used to be like the story of my life....before God. Today...everyday whether its a good day or a bad day....I PRAISE our faithful God and thank him for everyone he has put in my life, and how lucky I am to not have to feel that way anymore even though sometimes I still do.
-Beautiful Disaster